Whether you are a single dad or are in a long lasting and healthy marriage, if you have a baby girl, life is going to get a bit harder during those teen years.
It’s one thing if mom is around, but if you ever find yourself in situations where a female touch is needed but not found, there are a few things you’ll need to understand.
Dad… You cannot stop this. Puberty is natural and your little girl begins going through it as soon as her body is ready. It can happen as early as nine years old to as late as fourteen years old.
Your sweet, adorable baby girl is going to start changing. Not just physically, but emotionally, too.
Like I said before, I really am wanting to direct this article towards single fathers, but the advice could also be great for any father.
But before I really get into how to handle all this, you need to realize that this is actually much more difficult for you, than her. Obsessing over “what to say” is going to make the situation more complex than it already is.
Those are the basics of making this talk go by much more smoothly.
Having The Talk.
Women’s bodies have always been something of a mystery to most men and it’s perfectly normal to be confused, embarrassed, or even somewhat put off by your daughter’s physical changes.
Okay, here is goes.
Between the ages of 8 and 14, your daughter will begin her period, start having sexual urges, will begin developing breast, will begin growing hair on her genitals and underarms, and her skin may develop ache.
Please note: If your daughter still have not began these processes, especially getting her period, then you need to speak with her doctor. I know it may seem like a blessing to you to but it is very unhealthy for her and could be a sign that something is wrong.
Once she first begins her period, try to sit her down and ask if she has any questions about what’s happening with her body. Of course, she will deflect the situation, as most girls would, because you’re a boy. Don’t take it personally. If she freaks out, you stay calm.
By putting the question out there, you’ve opened the doors of communication. Keep that door open. When she is ready, she will take it.
Also, while having the talk, do not shy from the topic of sex. She will have sexual urges. Help them learn to understand them. Again, if she pushes you away, keep that communication door open. She will use it when she is ready.
Finally, if your talk isn’t going so well, ask if she would be more conformable with a female. Have a friend, sister, your mother, etc try to reach to her. Usually, this is the best approach when young girls are too embarrassed to talk about sex and periods with their dads.
The Monster Within
Inside of every sweet, adorable, innocent little girl is a sour mouthed monster. There are so many hormones swirling around her body, it may be difficult for her control her emotions.
Insane, irrational anger bursts. Irrational “storming away”. Even mean, outlandish screaming may happen.
This is all normal and natural.
I am not saying to allowing disrespect in your home. But I do want you to not take it personally. That’s why I’m warning you.
Also, please be aware that your daughter will be comparing her development to that of her girl friends at school. She may feel fat, ugly, uncomfortable in her body. This is normal and telling her how “beautiful” she is, will not help.
Don’t stop telling her but do not expect it to help her through all this.
Children are having sex earlier and earlier these days. Please do all you can to help your daughter hold onto her innocence as long as possible.
Teaching her about sex, protection, etc is the best way to do this. Being open to hearing about “loves” and feelings for boys.
Finally, being there for her broken heart.
Never, never “Forbid” her from seeing a boy. She will sneak out. She will find a way to see that boy. Instead, show her you support her but ask questions. “Do you really like when he yells at you like that?” or “Wow, he must be having an off day. I’m sure he’s not always that disrespectful”.
These questions will help her see what you already have seen. Your daughter is smart. She’ll come to realize that the boy she loved is very much a jerk.
Finally, teach her what boys will say and do just to get into her pants. The best time to have this conversation is when you realize her breasts and figure are coming together.
The earlier she begins her period, the sooner this will happen.
If you educate her on the tricks of teenage boys, then she will more than likely not fall for them.
Remember, she is your baby girl. The more active you are in her development, the more likely she’ll listen to you. And you do not have to be as “sensitive” as I made this all sound. You can still be your normal manly, man self.
Be her dad. That will be enough.